


Cigarettes and Coffee

by banditsolace



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Coffee, F/M, One Shot, Rain, Sexual Content, Smoking, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-05-21 10:22:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14913596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/banditsolace/pseuds/banditsolace
Summary: Writing Jaehyun one shot for all the feels I have for him.





	Cigarettes and Coffee

The rain has been constantly pouring: visible darkened clouds, a cup of freshly brewed coffee, and the smoke that is drifting from her lit cigarette. The gloomy weather infected her, as the cold seeped through her bones, making her shiver. She held back a laugh as a memory she desperately wishes to forget; the irony that the situation that she is in. She pursed her lips as she repeatedly tapped her pen on the table.

“Did you miss me?” A man’s voice pulls her out of her reverie: she couldn’t make out the man that was standing before her but she knew him too well, his silvery voice gave him away. His question couldn’t be further than the truth, in the very least; she was trying to save herself. She smiled, mirrored his blinding smile albeit not the same. Never the same intensity. He was euphoria, the very same vice she can never quit no matter how much she tried. Like the rich benignant smoke that peeled back down her throat, to her lungs, poking at her vulnerability. 

Her heart, it betrayed her the very minute he slid his long and slender fingers and crossed the length of the table to reach her small and delicate ones: she almost swooned at the sight of how they perfectly fit, his encasing hers fully. Her heart, it was his. She can no longer salvage it at how it beats erratically every time her name rolls off his tongue: the way it teases her every time they kiss, the way it drenches his parted and plump lips as they reluctantly pull away. His thumb caressing his cheeks as their ragged breaths mingled.   
She didn’t miss him—not in the extent of his query. The ferocity of what she was feeling, she knows he could never fathom. Hers was unequivocally one with fears, reservations, and doubt: to see him as a shadow through her shower curtain; a figure on her bed underneath her blanket, or; a man with his back towards her as he cooks comfortably in her small kitchen.

She felt his gaze, one that warranted satisfaction and satiation. Her body has always responded at how he can deftly give her sensations without even undressing her. His hands always moved with grace and knowledge, aware of the folds and smoothness of her skin. His masculine and musky scent cradled her into a trance only he could evoke. Her arms reached up and tangled around his neck, desperately clinging for support, for more contact to deepen the kiss that will always leave her breathless. 

His kisses, as he trailed them on her exposed skin, were never sloppy, never mediocre. As his muscular arms supported her arched back, he dipped his head lower to her navel. Her naked back hit the soft and velvety sheets, his stature towering above her small frame. Her breathing never ceases to hitch whenever he slightly smirks in attempt to taunt her. She could never tell him how much it drives her crazy as he deliberately slows down on taking his clothes off. He was the gift that she could never unwrap so carelessly, so unruly.   
The room was dimly lit, airy, and spacious but here they were with their labored and heaving bodies; pressed against each other for warmth. She was imperfectly immaculate and he worshiped her. He marveled at how she writhed at his mercy: she always begged for more. Fire leapt into her expressive eyes, she sighed and panted and moaned, her thighs mechanically rose as their bodies move in a rhythmic pattern. 

“Ah…” Was only the sound that came out of her mouth as he continually unravel her—he plunged and rammed and thrust deep into her. He rolled, fondled, and kneaded her breasts; she clenched her legs around his torso, nearing as his intense gaze never left her. The feeling is never describable in words: but she can see his eyes boring into her, his fingers interlocked with hers, his body as close as it can be. 

He has always told her how he never cuddles in his past endeavors. How he always allows her in the end leaves a room for a thought she should never entertain. She watched his chest rise and fall as his arm is wrapped around her, her head laid in between his arm and chest. She couldn’t help herself but indulge at the inviting scene before her. Her finger trailed feathery touches from his chest down to his abdomen. His lips curved into a smile, his hand catching her as if to warn her to stop her teasing. She inched closer, snuggled into the warmth emitted by him.

The rain has still been pouring all the while: still visible darkened clouds, two cups of half-drank and now stale coffee, and the grey smoke drifting from the newly lit cigarette. The gloomy weather infected her: or maybe, she was the very reason it was gloomy, it sympathized with her. The cold seeped into her body, but it didn’t make her shiver anymore. She laughed at the ironic situation she was in. The smoke eddied down her throat; she was a smoker but it felt funny, it felt foreign.

“I didn’t.” Her small voice is quite different from his smoky one, one that is familiar and that she is attracted to. Her answer was one that she decided on, however it was otherwise was from what she was truly feeling. It didn’t matter. She tried to smile, in reply to his questioning look. He was still euphoria, the vice she desperately needs to quit. She willed to desert as she knows its consequences. 

Her heart, it betrayed her still, almost stopped beating as soon as she withdrew her hand from his; her small and delicate fingers slid from his long and slender ones and retreated back to grab the pen and put it back inside her back. She immediately felt the loss of the warmth and it took all of her will not to interlock hers with his. This time, she noted the effort she was finally doing in saving herself. Her heart, she yearned to not be his. A day it will not be anymore.

“Is it because I don’t want more?” His voice thick and taut, the aggravation was etched on his beautiful face. Yes and no, she wanted to reply. But it won’t make sense and he would never understand. That in spite all of this, she was the one who wants more. That she was utterly and irrevocably in love with him. But he was not with her. He will never be with her.

“Let’s end this.”

She stood up as she put out her cigarettes in the ash tray. She didn’t wait for him to do or to say anything. She was too weak for anything that concerns him. After all, today was already a meeting she has been putting off. She has missed him—the past month she had tried to avoid him and she never replied to his texts or messages. She never read any of them, afraid she will easily come back to him. 

She looked at the box of cigarettes she owns. She can only laugh at the reality: she loves Jaehyun. Jaehyun will never love her.

**Author's Note:**

> Writing Jaehyun one shot for all the feels I have for him.


End file.
